The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
