Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
