Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
