i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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