i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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