My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
