ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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