I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
