I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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