Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
