Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
