he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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