My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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