It's Friday. Sex?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
