no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
