Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize