Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize