I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
