I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
