At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
