why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
