Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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