In the future we'll all be gay
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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