Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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