I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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