Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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