anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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