I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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