I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
