i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I want a musical about memes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
