That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
