My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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