Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
