I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
