Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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