i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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