So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
