He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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