I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
