so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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