Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
