Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
