your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it glows. i had to have it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
