dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
