i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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