i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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