She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Walk of Shame today included voting.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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