Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
