she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
