Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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