lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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