so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My ass is underappreciated
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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