Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
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I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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