Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
