im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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