So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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