Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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