M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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