She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
