elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
